Kisses And Kyle
by cell12
Summary: Cartman gets a visit from Kyle in the early hours of the morning. Kyman.


I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

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**Kisses And Kyle**

by cell12

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It was the early hours of the morning and Eric Theodore Cartman was asleep in bed. His brown hair was tussled at odd angles and his relaxed, sleeping face was serene - so unlike his normal facial expression. Growth spurts had burned up some of his weight so he appeared chubby rather than grossly fat. The weight suited him and it would be hard to imagine him without it. As he turned in his sleep he murmured something about flame-throwers and hippies - obviously not much had changed about him in the last few years. He was still the same angry boy, hating the world because he could.

Just then there was a tapping on the window - Cartman didn't hear it, he was still fast asleep. The tapping grew louder and more persistent. Eric turned in his sleep, still snoring gently. After a few more minutes a voice could be heard.

"Open the window, Fat-ass," the voice belonged to a slim boy with an angled face. He was wearing a heavy orange jacket and rich auburn curls peeked out from under his green hat. If you were delusional you might call his features elven.

Cartman was now awake, he stretched slowly and blinked his bleary eyes, "Kahl, is that you?"

The other boy answered back sharply, "Yes, now open up, it's cold out here."

Cartman went to the window and opened it up, just enough to feel the cold and to hear Kyle more clearly, "Now, tell me what's so important that you have to wake me up at," he looked at the bed-side alarm clock, "god dammit, 2 am."

"Let me in and I'll tell you," Kyle replied.

"Fine," Cartman opened the window wide and stood aside to let Kyle clamber in - although he made no move to help him, "this better be good Jew"

Kyle lowered his head, blushing, he appeared unable to say what he wanted.

Cartman became impatient, "Hurry up daywalker."

Kyle raised his head then, anger sparked in his eyes - along with something more.

"Well?" Cartman asked.

Kyle pulled his hat off and held it in front of his body. His face was red like his hair. "I think I like you, he said quietly."

"What," Cartman could barely believe what he was hearing.

"I like you," Kyle repeated, slightly louder this time.

"You can't like me - you're a Jew," Eric knew it was stupid but it was the first response that jumped into his mind.

"I know," Kyle looked miserable, "I'm supposed to hate you."

"So why don't you then?"

Kyle looked angry, "Don't you think I haven't tried."

Cartman lazily rubbed some sand out of his eyes. He was more alert now and he was starting to think more clearly, "What do you expect me to do about it?"

"Nothing, I just wanted you to know," Kyle had lowered his head again.

"And you couldn't tell me at a normal hour?" The fat teen's voice had a twinge of resigned irritability to it.

Kyle was embarrassed, "I figured that if I caught you when you were half-asleep, you'd be too tired to be an ass about it."

Cartman nodded, "That seems smart - and if I tell anyone tomorrow you'll claim I dreamt it all up, yes?"

Kyle had the decency to look guilty, "I guess."

"And everyone will believe you and think that I'm the gay one for having dreams about you."

Kyle nodded.

"So you thought it all out," Cartman stretched before scratching the back of one leg with the toes of his other foot. "Do you really like me or are you just messing with me in the hopes of denying it all tomorrow and and making me look gay?"

Kyle swallowed before speaking, "I know one way to prove that I'm telling you the truth."

"Oh?"

Kyle stepped forwards and kissed Eric gently on the lips before stepping back, "Do you believe me now?"

Eric's jaw dropped - until that moment he had been so sure that Kyle was messing with him. So sure that this was just a trap that he had figured out. But now... His thoughts trailed off, it was too much to think about.

"Cartman," Kyle's voice was sounded slightly concerned.

"I don't know what to think Kahl. I know that you'd like some sort of answer straight away but I don't have one."

Kyle looked shocked, "You're not saying no?"

"No to what?"

"Going out with me - being my boyfriend," Kyle seemed to be bouncing on his toes - excitement and adrenaline were coursing through him like hot lava.

"This is big Kahl, I need some time to think about it," Cartman yawned, "and I need to get some sleep."

Kyle nodded and started to move towards the window before Eric stopped him, "Let's use the front door this time."

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After Kyle had left, Eric returned to his bedroom. There was no way he would be getting any more sleep tonight, he had way too much going on in his mind. Was Kyle being sincere in his declaration. Given the weird looks he'd been getting from the Jewish boy for the last few weeks, Eric was inclined to believe it was genuine. Either way he now had enough material to completely destroy Kyle's life if he wanted to.

What Kyle didn't know was that shortly after he, Stan and Kenny had taken it upon themselves to break into Cartman's bedroom, dye his hair red and bleach his skin - to make him look like a ginger - Eric had fixed a hidden camera inside a DVD box on the shelf and set it to record 24 hours a day. His computer always stored the last 2 weeks of his bedroom's traffic. Yes it was borderline paranoid behaviour but it was about to pay off big-time.

It took only a few seconds to load up his computer's video storage software and less that 10 minutes split off the clip and save it onto his phone. As he worked he thought about what would happen tomorrow. Cartman could imagine it perfectly; he would tell everyone what had happened, Kyle would deny it and Stan and Kenny would probably back the Jew up, then he would feel the ultimate triumph of playing the video file - undeniable proof for everybody in class to see. If they asked him why he didn't reject Kyle straight away, he could easily point out that gay teenagers had a bad habit of killing themselves when they got rejected. He could even act all concerned for the daywalker's welfare. There was no way he wanted Kyle dead - how the fuck could he rip on a dead Jew Cartman wondered if it was worth waiting for an opportunity to show the footage in front of all the kids and their parents too. Obviously it would be fun to watch Kyle's mom's reaction to finding out her little bubbe was gay - but he didn't want to leave it too long or Kyle might just spoil it all by coming out to his friends and family.

Then he imagined Kyle's hurt face. The image that should have brought him so much joy - especially in anticipation of seeing it for real - suddenly made him feel sick.

Eric switched off his computer and got into bed, he still had the phone in his hand and decided to watch the footage again, telling himself that he needed to be ready in case Kyle tried to talk his way out of trouble. As he watched a big smile stretched across his face. He tried to convince himself that it was because he was looking forward to humiliating Kyle, but was it? When he came to the part where Kyle was excitedly bouncing on his toes, Eric felt his heart pounding. What the fuck was wrong with him? He couldn't actually have feelings for the Jew, could he? Eric played the file again, his heart was pounding now all the time as he watched. He was actually getting excited as he waited for the part where Kyle kissed him.

"Fuck!" Eric shouted. Why couldn't he get Kyle out of his head.

Eric stopped the video playback and thought about trying to get some sleep, then he thought again and decided to call Kyle.

"If I can't sleep, why should he," Cartman muttered.

Kyle must have still been awake because he answered straight away, "Cartman?"

"I can't sleep Kahl, I can't sleep."

Kyle's was soft to Eric's ears, "It's my fault - I'm sorry."

"I've been thinking," Eric heard Kyle's intake of breath, "I honestly don't know whether I like you or not - but I figure that the best way to find out, is to try doing something together."

Kyle's voice sounded elated and his voice was raised far louder than a night-time whisper, "You mean like a date?"

"Yeh," Cartman couldn't believe he was doing this - it was against everything he claimed to stand for, "we can talk about it tomorrow. I just didn't want to keep you hanging."

"That's great but I've got to go," Kyle's voice dropped even lower, "I think my mom heard me just now, I can hear her moving about."

"I guess that now would not be a good time to get grounded, eh Kahl?" Eric paused for a second before adding, "Good night Kahl."

"Night," Kyle whispered.

Eric ended the call and tossed his phone on the bedside cabinet. He rolled onto his side and soon fell asleep - only this time he was dreaming about kisses and Kyle.

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End file.
